Mad Mel

I know that it comes to nobody’s surprise that Mel Gibson is fucking insane. He used to just be some good looking romantic comedy, Braveheart, talented actor, who kept his anti-Semitism and dreams of world domination to himself. Those days, my friends, have passed. Mel Gibson has moved past his acting roots and begun directing. By all logic he should be successful, he is a man and should be able to relate to that market, and he can read females minds, so he has his entire audience covered.

While it would easy to tear into Mel for being an anti-Semitist and tease and ridicule him for ‘Passion of the Christ’ calling him a Nazi, and photo shopping pictures like this:


I would never do that. I’m better than that. Besides, I’m not offended by ‘Passion of the Christ,’ if anything I think it’s motivational. Jesus is the poster boy for ending ‘Jew on Jew Violence.’ I mean honestly, how can we expect the world to treat us equally if we can’t stop nailing each other to giant crosses? Grow up people!!

Anyways, the reason I’m writing this is because Mel Gibson has a new film coming out called:


He does not star in it, but he does direct it. The film is about some people, in some time, doing some stuff. That’s all that’s known about the film, with the exception of the catchphrase: “When the end comes, not everyone is ready to go,” which I can only assume means there’s extra footage at the end of the movie. Mel Gibson is going for the mysterious angle, soon enough he’ll change his name to a symbol and only speak in rhyme. What happened to Mel? I mean seriously, who is in charge of his public relations? Did he hire his sister or something? I would pay to see Mel Gibson and Tom Cruise fight it out for the reputation as hottest retard. A real life Celebrity DeathMatch.

Anyways, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, Apocalypto. I recently watched the preview to this trash, and essentially it takes place in a dirty jungle, or Detroit or something. There’s a really fast montage that shows aspects of the jungle and lots of crazy tribes people covered in white powder:

Amidst all this mess and chaos there is a shot which passes so quickly you can't even see it. If you go to the very first frame of this shot, for 1 frame, which is 1/24th of a second and stop the preview, lo and behold, I present to you, the one and only, crazy ass Mel:


I swear to you I did not photoshop that. I didn’t touch it, that’s exactly as it appears. If you don’t believe me, watch the preview and try and stop it on the first frame of that shot (near the end) for yourself. Use your arrow keys to go forward one frame at a time. It’s real, and in my opinion this is proof that Mel Gibson has officially lost his goddamm mind. I mean seriously, what the fuck? Besides the fact that he put that in there, look at him. He’s chewing on a toothpick, wearing plaid, and has a birds nest glued to his chin. And look at that smile, that’s the ‘I stuck your toothbrush up my ass and now I’m watching you brush your teeth with it’ smile.

I just thought you all deserved to see that. And Mel… please don’t kill me. Shabbat Shalom.