I hate those stupid pop-ups that constantly sneak up on me warning me that I have spy ware on my computer. Really, I do? Oh, well I better click on this popup that somehow not only found its way onto my computer but found out that I have spy ware. OR maybe this is the goddamm spy ware that it’s warning me about. What pisses me off even more are the idiots who click on these popups and then confused and desperate to find a reason why their computer is now worse off than it was before, returns to these popup downloads for more help. This ultimately ends in one of two scenarios. 1) Your computer gets fucked up beyond repair and you ditch it and start the cycle again, or 2) If we’re lucky, you kill your stupid self.
I also hate the show 24, and everybody who watches it religiously. Let me save you all some suspense and summarize this season for you. Jack Bauer kills some people, terrorist situation arrises... probably involving middle easterns, Jack Bauer kills more people, important character dies, Jack Bauer avenges important character, old killed/fired/deported character returns, Bauer kills more people, saves the hostages in the nick of time. There, I saved you all 24 stupid hours. Jack Bauer will kill the bad guys. He will victorious, and he will not die. I love the convenience that all problems are solved within 24 hours, but not before that 24th hour. Just once I’d love to see Bauer solve the case by Hour #3 and then 19 episodes of him doing his laundry, and picking his ass. Of course, I will never see this, because I’d rather feed my eyeballs to a homeless junkie than watch this trash. I wish I was in the boardroom when they came up with this bright idea.
Exec. #1: Let’s have a show, where the good guy never dies, and saves people.
Exec. #2: BRILLIANT!!!!
Exec. #3: Wait, can we have lots of explosions and a ridiculous body count?
Exec. #1: Of course
Exec. #2: BRILLIANT!!!!!
Exec. #4: Can we go split screen for no reason and then rearrange the split screens around the screen until the viewer wants to puke?
Exec. #1: Of Course
Exec. #2: BRILLIANT!!!!!!
Exec. #5: Good session guys, lets go get some Thai food and then rape and kill some hookers.
Unanimous Laughter from all.
I hate the JewFro. You know what I’m talking about, I’m not even gonna explain it to you. In fact, I hate pretty much every male a year or more younger than me. Why did everybody decide that there should be one haircut that everybody sports. The afro was hip, the hippy long hair was cool, even Gerry curls made me laugh, but what in gods name are you trying to accomplish by keeping medium length curly hair that you don’t take care of? What inspired today’s youth to go for the ‘Weird Al’ look. I know he’s funny and cool, but jesus christ people, his most successful album was called ‘Bad Hair Day’… can’t you take a hint? Cut your hair, take a shower, put on jeans instead of those sweatpants, and come talk to me about ‘cool.’
I hate everybody stupider than me, and yes this includes you. I know what you’re thinking you dumb jerk, ‘Stupider isn’t a word.’ Well guess what, it’s my blog, and I just made it a word, deal with it. Let me just clear something up now. Don’t correct me, I’m smarter than you. In the end you will be proven wrong and just make me look smarter and you dumber, so shut up.
Did you vote? You should really vote. Today’s young people really don’t vote enough. It’s easy to vote. If you care you should vote. SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!! Last time I checked we’re voting on a democracy, and living in a democracy it is my right to choose if I want to vote or not. If I don’t care who our leader is, I’m not voting. If I wanted my vote to have no real say in who is the leader of our country, then I would move to Cuba… or America. Politicians don't try to sell themselves to my democraphic, they just try to make us feel stupid if we don't vote. I'll make you a deal, you start caring about me, and I'll start caring about whether you win or not. The most persuasive campaign for me to vote came on an episode of South Park. P. Diddy was trying to coax children to vote, with his ‘Vote or Die’ campaign, and created a marketing campaing that was as follows:
P. Diddy: Shake ‘dem titties when you vote bitch. Shove my jimmie through your roof mouth.
You've come a long way Mr. Combs. Compelling stuff Puff Daddy. Compelling stuff.
But I digress, I think I’ll go read some encyclopedias and do some calculus or something…. never mind, Frasier is on TV, I think I’ll check that out.
