Now, with that being said, ‘The Notebook’ is a good movie. Yes, I’ve seen the notebook at least 7 times, and I get a little choked up when Ryan Gosling calls Rachel McAdams a bird, and they embrace.
“If you’re a bird, I’m a bird”
IT’S A GOOD FUCKING MOVIE. The cinematography is breathtaking, and it’s gut wrenching and heart warming to watch theset two lost souls find each other. Watching Ryan Gosling transform from a hopelessly in love teenage boy into a man so devoted to the woman he can’t have that his false illusions of having her run his life is beautiful.
I’m not gay.
Sure, every once in a while I like to take a hot bubble bath. It feels good, fuck you.
I’m not gay.
So every once in a while my roommate and I blast romantic love ballads and sing along. It’s Hard for Me To Say I’m Sorry, by Chicago, is a good song.
“After All that we’ve been through, I will make it up to you. I promise to.”
IT’S CATCHY.. Fuck you
I’m not gay.
I like to watch heterosexual porn. Nothing turns me on more than big titties. Female equality is bullshit.
See, I’m not gay.
So I shop at American Eagle, and I hate the taste of beer. IT TASTES BAD. Fuck you…
I’m not gay.
I wax my hair with Alberto Fibre Putty, and like the taste of coolers. That doesn’t mean anything. I’m sure lots of other people do… FUCK YOU!
I’m not gay.
I love lesbians. I don’t care that I have no chance with a woman that isn’t sexually interested in my gender, it’s not like I stand a chance with Jill Kelly, or Jenna Jameson, anyway. I just enjoy watching women go at it. Titties are good. Yeah. YEAH! BOOOOOBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m not gay.
So I don’t watch Football, and I don’t go clubbing. Who the fuck are you to judge me?
I’m not gay.
I listen to the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and have fantasies of sexual activities with my grade school teachers. I have masturbated to a picture of Tomb Raider’s Lara Croft. I AM A MAN!!!!
I burp in public and find nothing funnier than a loud fart during any type of emotional exchange. I read Tucker Max and own a plaid shirt. I enjoy playing video games, and when I lose I whip the controller into the ground as hard as I can.
I am delusional about my strength, and believe that everything I say is right, and everybody else’s opinion is wrong, especially if that person is a female. I am a very masculine man. I could beat up the Hulk.
I’m not gay.
There’s hair on my ass, and I don’t care. Once when I was younger I picked up a coal in the Sauna, then I laughed at the face of god. I do not understand the concept of pain. I go bungee jumping, and jump out of airplanes without a parachute. I have a water cooler full of vodka that I have to replace daily. I both play in a band, and whip beer bottles at them. I freestyle, and wear pants just above my knees.
I definitely am not gay.
I steal money from hobos, and beat up little girls who try to sell me girl scout cookies. I use garbage bags as condoms, and eat kittens. When I flex, worlds explode. I once had an arm-wrestle with Hulk Hogan. My strength and levels on manliness were too much too handle and his head immediately exploded. He now is nothing more than an elaborate CGI experiment.
When I play laser tag, people die. I once got into a fight with a Gorilla. Later that night, I had Gorilla stew. I eat steak raw, bench press school buses, and referee hobo fights. I am so much of a man. I make Chuck Norris look like Clay Aiken. I have died 17 times, but Satan’s too petrified to let me in. I invented the concept of pain.
Whatever I say, goes! And guess what? The Notebook was a good movie.
I swear I’m not gay.
