Sunday, March 12, 2006

Fight the Power!

We live in a harsh and cruel world. A world full of pain and sorrow, hate and intolerance. People die, hearts are broken, and television shows are cancelled. Life is hard, and there’s nothing we can do about it. There is one element, one force of nature, that holds us all back. It limits our potential and is the cause of all pain in the world. Nothing bad that happens to us is our fault, we are perfect, we are flawless, we are divine. Yet pain still exists in our lives and you know what? I blame George W. Bush.

High gas prices? War in the middle east? Political corruption and conspiracies?

I blame Bush.

The American President is slow-witted, incoherent, and indecisive. He is industry focused, and economically inclined. He rigged the election…twice, and is riding high on his father’s name and reputation. I’m so smart, I am the first person to ever make this rationalization, I should be president. Boy oh boy do I ever regret hating on Clinton now, he was a good president, yet we ripped on him just because he had his knob polished… and then lied about it under oath in front of the entire world.

I blame Bush.

We don’t want a president who is concerned over the American economy. Democracy is bad, and we wanna pay high prices for our oil….. Wait-- never mind. But war is bad!!! We should treat each other as we want to be treated. Recycle and save the whales. For that matter, Where’s Osama? George Washington would’ve stopped those airplanes. Did you know he chopped down a cherry tree? A MOTHERFUCKING CHERRY TREE!! Now there’s a President. None of this ‘Axis-of-evil’ bullshit. I bet you Abraham Lincoln never mispronounced Nuclear. It’s nuclear, not nucular, dumbass. Nope, not Abe. Abe was a real man, he knew how to run a country. Sure he was assassinated by an actor/model and had many illegitimate children with unknown mistresses, but clearly this is not Mr. Lincoln’s fault.

I blame Bush.

What kind of President allows intolerance to exist in the world? Sure the public services are great, but taxes? What the fuck? Hockey Lockout, Euthenasia, and the Avian Flu. Get yer shit together Dubya. I watch 2 hours of Rocky Balboa train and he loses to Apollo Creed? Morale victory my ass, where’s the remake George? The world is at war, terrorism is at an all-time high, and that rash on my ass isn’t getting any better.

I blame Bush.

George Bush just sat idly by while King Kong destroyed New York. We don’t want that, we want a leader who will stand up and fight, a leader who will take control, a leader who will take down a 20 foot gorilla climbing the Empire State Building. And for that matter, he did absolutely nothing to save Jesus. Go watch Passion of the Christ, where’s George Bush? I’ll tell you where, he was in Auschwitz drowning puppies.

Our O-Zone layer is depleting, traffic lights take too long to change, and my computer is loading really slow.

I blame Bush.

How can we all be expected to continue living our lives when we are bombarded with problems arising from the presence of George W. Bush? We can’t! When will somebody put an end to his reign of terror? I don’t know! Am I going to continue answering my own rhetorical questions? Apparently so!

I'm sorry if this entry is below par, you’ll have to excuse me. It wasn’t my fault.