The Writer’s Guild of America recently came to an agreement with the major studio heads meaning that not only was there a recent influx of virgins resuming work in Hollywood, but also that this year’s Academy Awards ceremony didn’t have to be cancelled. I know that a lot of people hold some contempt for the ceremonies claiming that it’s just another opportunity for the Hollywood elite to gather together to congratulate themselves on a job well done. I disagree. I think that most of the celebrities do a very good job of coming off as humble and down to earth, and for that they should congratulate themselves. NBC can have broadcast rights.
Jon Stewart returned as host this year and did a formidable job. Originally they were considering getting Whoopi Goldberg to return as host, but eventually decided that with a woman or a black man set for the presidency, there was no need be politically correct and instead went for a fair representation of the Republican party; an upper class, aging, white guy. Coincidentally, he also makes a living laughing at the Iraq war.
I love the Oscars. Every year me and a few friends gather together to watch it, placing bets on all the winners. This year, however, I had to cancel the get together a mere hour before the festivities began because I came down with what can aptly be described as the plague. It’s just as well though; I had to go to a family dinner at 6:30 which would have caused me to miss half the show. Some of my family knew this and thus when I told them I was sick probably assumed that I was just making up a bullshit excuse. I was not. I do, however, understand why they would be upset. They think that family’s the most important thing and that I’m blowing it off, the jokes on them though. I haven’t told anyone yet, but I’m adopted.
As my sickness threatened to engulf me entirely I was given the perfect remedy, the OSCARS!!!! Beautiful people wearing beautiful clothing; and only for the split second the screen goes black as they cut to commercial was I forced to look at my own disgusting reflection. I am not an attractive man.
There weren’t many upsets this year. Among the few were Tilda Swinton for Michael Clayton. She upset Ruby Dee, the grandmother from American Gangster, who was favorited to win because, well, she’s old and black. Also taking a bit of an upset was Marion Cottilard, who won best actress for her performance in La Vie en Rose. Her portrayal of Edith Piaf was a historic performance and truly gut wrenching, but the film isn’t American, so really, who gives a shit?
There were a few other events which cannot go unmentioned. Owen Wilson made an appearance presenting the Best Live Action Short Oscar and later went on to lose the ‘Best Suicide’ award to Heath Ledger. The Academy made a public statement explaining their decision thusly, “While we have great respect and admiration for Mr. Wilson both professionally and personally, we could not honor him with this award as he simply did not get the job done.” Mr. Ledger was not in attendance to accept his award.
Speaking of wildly inappropriate and inconsiderate jokes, the portion of the show where they have a memorial for the celebrities that passed away was really good this year. It’s always fun listening to the audience clap harder and louder depending on how famous the person being honored is. If E! has taught me anything, it’s that famous people are better than me and attractive famous people doubly so. Probably because you have to account not only for their lives but also for the lives of all their illegitimate children who will now never have the opportunity to have their existence denied.
I have no real problem with any of the winners, except maybe Best Sound Mixing, which was total bullshit. The sound in Transformers was mixed way better than in The Bourne Ultimatum, everyone knows that. Aside from that one fictitious discrepancy I only had any real “beef,” as the kids say, with one film and its many nominations. Now don’t get me wrong, I liked Juno. I thought it was a sweet little film that was pretty funny and had heart. But it’s the type of film that you buy at Starbucks, not a Best Picture contender. Best Actress, Best Director, and Best Picture nominations? Ahh, the immeasurable power of hype. Diablo Cody, former stripper and current screenwriter, also won for Best Original Screenplay. Now I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking, “honest to blog?” but I assure you this story about a chicko who’s eggo was preggo ain’t no jive, turkey, and it took home the best writing Oscar, Home Skillet. I can see the quality in the story, but the dialogue in this film is like how a 97 year old Alzheimer’s patient imagines today’s youth speaks. It’s a combination of 1870s slang and retarded diction.
Finally, No Country for Old Men was a great movie and normally would be a deserving recipient of the Best Picture award. This year, however, it beat out the epic There Will be Blood, which is one of, if not, the best film of the past century. I have no joke or witty rhetoric. Just go see this movie, and bring a colostomy bag, because it will literally make you shit your pants.
So again the Oscars came and went, like a cheap male gigolo. I got my fix of pretty people honoring pretty people, and if even for a mere 4 hours I got to escape into the small window that is the world I wish I lived in. I got to see the people I admire sit in a room and tribute the artwork that I live for. One day of the year to honor these people. These celebrities, these idols, these gods.
Now I get another full year to make fun of the stupid shit they wore.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Saturday, February 16, 2008
...not that there's anything wrong with that.
Since the beginning of time man has dreamed of the future. It seems not long ago that professors and doctors were predicting the great advancements we would face in the new millennium. Alas the year 2000 came and went quickly, giving way to 2001 and there were no meals in pill form, there were no flying cars or jetpacks, there was no great technological revolution. These dreamers of yesteryear prophesizing self cleaning homes and lasers would surely be surprised to instead find married dudes sticking it in each other’s butts.
It’s hard, in today’s world where homosexuality seems to lurk around every corner, where every song on the radio seems to written by the gays, where the most offensive homosexual remark I can think of is calling them ‘the gays,’ to imagine a world where homosexuality isn’t accepted. Believing that homosexuality was always revered is not only naïve, but it’s a stupid belief and you’re a stupid person for believing it.
Until recently Gay Marriage was a concept as strange and ridiculous as Elephants having pillow fights on the Moon. All that changed, however, when in 2001 the Netherlands legalized gay marriage. For the first time in history you could legally get a prostitute, smoke a joint, and marry a dude (not necessarily in that order). It didn’t take long for North America to follow suit with Canada legalizing gay marriage and although some states haven’t legalized it yet, America’s well on their way. Every state in America has legalized gay marriage with the exception of Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming.
Three cheers for progress!!!!
Hip, Hip, Hooray!
It’s understandable that gay acceptance is still an issue. It seemed like the gay rights movement was ready to make great progress in the 80s, and then all of a sudden came the AIDS pandemic. As terrible as this was it’s hard to sympathize with them as they brought it upon themselves when they had all that unprotected sex with wild monkeys. Foolish gays.
In the new millennium gay rights is again a hot topic. It’s great that people are at least discussing legalizing gay marriage, but I really don’t understand the dilemma. Just once I’d love to sit in on one of the trials, I wonder what the arguments would be.
Defense: You’re honor, my client, a homosexual, is a human being entitled to the same rights as any other person. He’s an upstanding civilian, a legal citizen, and he asks nothing from the state other than to be recognized as a married couple with his partner. The only grounds to refuse his legal marriage are grounded in religion but the First Amendment to United States Constitution states that there is to be a separation of church and state. Why then can he not be married to his lover, grounded solely on the basis that he is a man?
Judge: Thank you. Would the prosecution like to state their argument?
Prosecution: I would, your honor. He slowly stands and turns to address the jury. Your honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. THEY’RE FUCKING FAGGOTS!!!!!! Long pause. FAGGOTS!!!!! The prosecution rests your honor.
It’s a shame that Christianity holds such power in these matters, because that seems to be the strongest opposing point. Christianity views homosexuality as heretic and would prefer to focus their efforts on holier practices, such as child molestation. Sure it may seem contradictory to condemn homosexuality then play with boys ding dongs, but you see, Christianity views homosexuality as a sexual act between two men, not a man and a child.
Still though, we should consider ourselves lucky to live in such a comparatively tolerant place. During a famous 2007 speech at Columbia University, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad asserted that there are no gay people in Iran. This seems to contradict with an Iranian law forbidding homosexuality, punishable by death, however President Ahmadinejad assures that this law was simply a side clause attached to the Unicorn and Leprechaun Mandate of 1996.
When I first heard of the case of two male teenagers, Mahmoud Asgari and Ayaz Marhoni who were hanged in 2005 because they had been caught having sex with each other, I was shocked. I was relieved however when reflecting on President Ahmadinejad’s speech, I realized that these two individuals did not in fact exist.
While being gay must be a very harrowing experience, its’ not all bad. First of all for males, they don’t have to worry about their partner having a headache, not being in the mood, or still recovering from ‘the abortion.’ The benefits for lesbians, god bless them, are far more obvious: they get to sleep with women. Also, all gay men can bake (it’s science) and real scientific studies have shown that gay men have, on average, slightly longer and thicker penises. See, I’m not gay.
Now that I’ve kissed some gay ass (figuratively speaking) I can rip it to pieces (literally). I’m so freaking sick of gay pride parades. You’re here, you’re queer, I’m fucking used to it. I mean Jesus Christ, riding down the street on a float shaped like balls, filled with other butch guys wearing, as implausible as it may seem, even smaller leather shorts, throwing out free condoms lined with toilet paper, only furthers your stereotypical image. It’s like having a Mexican awareness parade and just parking the floats on your lawn. Or a Black Awareness parade where everyone just rides down the street on my bike. My point is, if you want people to accept you as fellow members of society then you need to stop depicting yourselves as a circus sideshow.
For instance, in 1973 when the American Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality from the Diagnostic and Statistical manual of Mental Disorders, meaning that homosexuality was no longer considered a mental disorder, you could’ve just taken pride in the strides you’d made. It wasn’t necessary to hold a press conference where an unnamed leader in the gay community refuted this change by proclaiming that he was, and I quote, “crazy for cock.”
I apologize for the length of this entry and the lack of my usual hysterical pointed satire but I actually did some research and I felt this was a good opportunity for me to show off to you how smart I am. So why did I decide to write about homosexuality? Don’t get too excited dad, I’m not coming out. Last week I wrote about racism and I noticed a lot of parallels between homosexuality and the plight of the black man. While African Americans are struggling for social equality, homosexuals are still fighting for people to recognize their basic civil rights. What people do between closed doors is really nobody else’s business and as long as they’re not squirting ‘gay sauce’ at us, I see no reason for any type of differential treatment. Also, maybe some hot lesbians will read this and decide they wanna be my friend. So why did I write about homosexuality? Because I wanted to.
… I swear I’m not gay.
It’s hard, in today’s world where homosexuality seems to lurk around every corner, where every song on the radio seems to written by the gays, where the most offensive homosexual remark I can think of is calling them ‘the gays,’ to imagine a world where homosexuality isn’t accepted. Believing that homosexuality was always revered is not only naïve, but it’s a stupid belief and you’re a stupid person for believing it.
Until recently Gay Marriage was a concept as strange and ridiculous as Elephants having pillow fights on the Moon. All that changed, however, when in 2001 the Netherlands legalized gay marriage. For the first time in history you could legally get a prostitute, smoke a joint, and marry a dude (not necessarily in that order). It didn’t take long for North America to follow suit with Canada legalizing gay marriage and although some states haven’t legalized it yet, America’s well on their way. Every state in America has legalized gay marriage with the exception of Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming.
Three cheers for progress!!!!
Hip, Hip, Hooray!
It’s understandable that gay acceptance is still an issue. It seemed like the gay rights movement was ready to make great progress in the 80s, and then all of a sudden came the AIDS pandemic. As terrible as this was it’s hard to sympathize with them as they brought it upon themselves when they had all that unprotected sex with wild monkeys. Foolish gays.
In the new millennium gay rights is again a hot topic. It’s great that people are at least discussing legalizing gay marriage, but I really don’t understand the dilemma. Just once I’d love to sit in on one of the trials, I wonder what the arguments would be.
Defense: You’re honor, my client, a homosexual, is a human being entitled to the same rights as any other person. He’s an upstanding civilian, a legal citizen, and he asks nothing from the state other than to be recognized as a married couple with his partner. The only grounds to refuse his legal marriage are grounded in religion but the First Amendment to United States Constitution states that there is to be a separation of church and state. Why then can he not be married to his lover, grounded solely on the basis that he is a man?
Judge: Thank you. Would the prosecution like to state their argument?
Prosecution: I would, your honor. He slowly stands and turns to address the jury. Your honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. THEY’RE FUCKING FAGGOTS!!!!!! Long pause. FAGGOTS!!!!! The prosecution rests your honor.
It’s a shame that Christianity holds such power in these matters, because that seems to be the strongest opposing point. Christianity views homosexuality as heretic and would prefer to focus their efforts on holier practices, such as child molestation. Sure it may seem contradictory to condemn homosexuality then play with boys ding dongs, but you see, Christianity views homosexuality as a sexual act between two men, not a man and a child.
Still though, we should consider ourselves lucky to live in such a comparatively tolerant place. During a famous 2007 speech at Columbia University, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad asserted that there are no gay people in Iran. This seems to contradict with an Iranian law forbidding homosexuality, punishable by death, however President Ahmadinejad assures that this law was simply a side clause attached to the Unicorn and Leprechaun Mandate of 1996.
When I first heard of the case of two male teenagers, Mahmoud Asgari and Ayaz Marhoni who were hanged in 2005 because they had been caught having sex with each other, I was shocked. I was relieved however when reflecting on President Ahmadinejad’s speech, I realized that these two individuals did not in fact exist.
While being gay must be a very harrowing experience, its’ not all bad. First of all for males, they don’t have to worry about their partner having a headache, not being in the mood, or still recovering from ‘the abortion.’ The benefits for lesbians, god bless them, are far more obvious: they get to sleep with women. Also, all gay men can bake (it’s science) and real scientific studies have shown that gay men have, on average, slightly longer and thicker penises. See, I’m not gay.
Now that I’ve kissed some gay ass (figuratively speaking) I can rip it to pieces (literally). I’m so freaking sick of gay pride parades. You’re here, you’re queer, I’m fucking used to it. I mean Jesus Christ, riding down the street on a float shaped like balls, filled with other butch guys wearing, as implausible as it may seem, even smaller leather shorts, throwing out free condoms lined with toilet paper, only furthers your stereotypical image. It’s like having a Mexican awareness parade and just parking the floats on your lawn. Or a Black Awareness parade where everyone just rides down the street on my bike. My point is, if you want people to accept you as fellow members of society then you need to stop depicting yourselves as a circus sideshow.
For instance, in 1973 when the American Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality from the Diagnostic and Statistical manual of Mental Disorders, meaning that homosexuality was no longer considered a mental disorder, you could’ve just taken pride in the strides you’d made. It wasn’t necessary to hold a press conference where an unnamed leader in the gay community refuted this change by proclaiming that he was, and I quote, “crazy for cock.”
I apologize for the length of this entry and the lack of my usual hysterical pointed satire but I actually did some research and I felt this was a good opportunity for me to show off to you how smart I am. So why did I decide to write about homosexuality? Don’t get too excited dad, I’m not coming out. Last week I wrote about racism and I noticed a lot of parallels between homosexuality and the plight of the black man. While African Americans are struggling for social equality, homosexuals are still fighting for people to recognize their basic civil rights. What people do between closed doors is really nobody else’s business and as long as they’re not squirting ‘gay sauce’ at us, I see no reason for any type of differential treatment. Also, maybe some hot lesbians will read this and decide they wanna be my friend. So why did I write about homosexuality? Because I wanted to.
… I swear I’m not gay.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Keep Dreaming.
There are a lot of things wrong with the world. I know that, I’m not naïve. No world that gives Flava Flav a dating show, Al Gore a Nobel Prize, and women the right to vote is perfect. That being said, things are pretty okay. Now with that being said, there are still two things that really piss me off: Racism and Mexicans.
I’m just kidding, as long as they keep their cars off my roads and on their lawns, I couldn’t care less. Here’s the truth, I honestly have nothing against Mexicans, I don’t even know any Mexicans. So why would I say all that? Why am I so inherently racist?
In pursuit of an answer I thought I’d turn to Martin Luther King’s famous speech. I’ll admit that I was surprised by what I found. It started as I had expected but then went in a much more literal direction than I had anticipated.
“I have a dream,” he reassuredly began, but then,
“There’s, like, this… uhh… 12 foot tall hotdog. And he’s like, chasing me down the street,”
I made sure I was watching the right speech. He continued,
“And he’s screaming ‘I’m gonna eat your feet Martin!!!’ and I’m like, ‘Don’t eat my feet, giant hot dog!! Don’t eat my feet!!!”
Disappointed by how misquoted and unhelpful Mr. King was, I went to my grandfather for some answers. “Grandfather,” I asked, my rippling biceps glistening in the sun, “Black people are born black. When they’re in the sun they stay black, and when they’re embarrassed they remain black. When white people are born, we’re born pink. When we’re in the sun we turn bronze then red, and when we’re embarrassed we blush. Why then are black people referred to as coloreds?” He took a sip of his brandy, flashed a knowing smile, and replied, “Because when you hang them from a tree, they’re blue.”
I politely finished my dinner, respectfully smiled as he showed me his collection of Nazi paraphernalia, then excused myself when he insisted I take a shower. Needless to say I was shocked. Completely taken aback that my grandfather would hang a man from a tree when he could get a Filipino to do it for him.
See, I did it again. I have no reason to insult Filipinos. I’ve had Filipinos living with me all my life. Sure, they’ve stolen our car and dog, slept with my dad, and made up fantastical lies about my family, but they’ve never been anything but polite to my face.
The alarming thing to me is that I know I’m not racist. Correction: I know I’m not very racist. Everybody’s a little bit racist. Nobody sees an Arab on their airplane and doesn’t plan out their goodbye phone call; just like nobody would bet on the Chinese driver at the Indy 500. So I’m a little racist; fine, but why?
Is it because I’m white? Is it because I come from a long lineage of suppressors and abusers and it’s in my blood? Do I ask too many rhetorical questions? The definitive answer to all those questions is a big fat stinking “NO.”
I categorize people and believe in stereotypes for one simple reason, they’re true. Need proof? Well here’s the smoking gun: I’m Jewish and, I swear to god, I like money!!!!! Now I consider myself a smart guy and would usually avoid any type of circumstantial evidence, but let’s face it, the facts are clear. Society has told me a bunch of ridiculous classifications for entire nationalities of people and I dare not question it. Sure, I’d love to be able to stand up against society and yell ‘Hey, Society!” then scrunch up my face and make a pouty noise indicating my disapproval, but let’s face it, I’m just one man. Not only am I just one man, but I’m a Jewish man, and as a Jew I don’t have a very good track record when it comes to conflict. In fact I believe the only recorded instance of a Jewish person winning any type of confrontation was during the 2000 Vice Presidential Debates when Joe Lieberman and Dick Cheney debated over which “Back to the Future” was the best (Lieberman: The second one, and fuck all of you).
The point I’m trying to make is that not only is Racism real, but it’s also hilarious. Now before you go pre-judging me as a racist and shoving me into ovens, let me just make one more incredibly ignorant observation. With sympathy for minorities running so rampant nowadays, it’s become increasingly difficult for me to be white. That’s right, I’m a middle class white man, and I’m complaining about intolerance! The fact of the matter is that the “white devil” was responsible for a lot of terrible terrible things. Granted, I wasn’t one of those people and I’m genuinely not a racist; but darkie don’t care. I’m not filled with hate, I don’t have a white hood in my closet, and my igniting crosses has nothing to do with racial intolerance, I just hate crosses.
Being Black, or Chinese, or Filipino, or Mexican nowadays paints a picture of your cultural heritage. It associates you with a group; with a history. When somebody looks at any ‘minority’ they see a lineage of ancestors travelled here from the great rocks of wherever, overcoming great hardships, and making a name for themselves and their families. When people look at me, they just see a white guy. I’m a blank canvas. Frankly, I don’t think I should have to live with this shame. I shouldn’t feel guilty when I get a black waiter or when I stone a Muslim.
Looking at the progression of racial attitudes over the past few centuries it’s truly unbelievable; we’ve come so far, changed so much, and built a whole new world. Just imagine how much more we could’ve done with slaves. The progress truly is astounding though. African Americans are no longer required to sit in the back of the bus (although they’re always welcome), my family now let’s our housekeeper sleep inside the house, and I continue to hold out hope that one day I’ll see a white guy on BET.
Happy Black History Month, everybody.
I’m just kidding, as long as they keep their cars off my roads and on their lawns, I couldn’t care less. Here’s the truth, I honestly have nothing against Mexicans, I don’t even know any Mexicans. So why would I say all that? Why am I so inherently racist?
In pursuit of an answer I thought I’d turn to Martin Luther King’s famous speech. I’ll admit that I was surprised by what I found. It started as I had expected but then went in a much more literal direction than I had anticipated.
“I have a dream,” he reassuredly began, but then,
“There’s, like, this… uhh… 12 foot tall hotdog. And he’s like, chasing me down the street,”
I made sure I was watching the right speech. He continued,
“And he’s screaming ‘I’m gonna eat your feet Martin!!!’ and I’m like, ‘Don’t eat my feet, giant hot dog!! Don’t eat my feet!!!”
Disappointed by how misquoted and unhelpful Mr. King was, I went to my grandfather for some answers. “Grandfather,” I asked, my rippling biceps glistening in the sun, “Black people are born black. When they’re in the sun they stay black, and when they’re embarrassed they remain black. When white people are born, we’re born pink. When we’re in the sun we turn bronze then red, and when we’re embarrassed we blush. Why then are black people referred to as coloreds?” He took a sip of his brandy, flashed a knowing smile, and replied, “Because when you hang them from a tree, they’re blue.”
I politely finished my dinner, respectfully smiled as he showed me his collection of Nazi paraphernalia, then excused myself when he insisted I take a shower. Needless to say I was shocked. Completely taken aback that my grandfather would hang a man from a tree when he could get a Filipino to do it for him.
See, I did it again. I have no reason to insult Filipinos. I’ve had Filipinos living with me all my life. Sure, they’ve stolen our car and dog, slept with my dad, and made up fantastical lies about my family, but they’ve never been anything but polite to my face.
The alarming thing to me is that I know I’m not racist. Correction: I know I’m not very racist. Everybody’s a little bit racist. Nobody sees an Arab on their airplane and doesn’t plan out their goodbye phone call; just like nobody would bet on the Chinese driver at the Indy 500. So I’m a little racist; fine, but why?
Is it because I’m white? Is it because I come from a long lineage of suppressors and abusers and it’s in my blood? Do I ask too many rhetorical questions? The definitive answer to all those questions is a big fat stinking “NO.”
I categorize people and believe in stereotypes for one simple reason, they’re true. Need proof? Well here’s the smoking gun: I’m Jewish and, I swear to god, I like money!!!!! Now I consider myself a smart guy and would usually avoid any type of circumstantial evidence, but let’s face it, the facts are clear. Society has told me a bunch of ridiculous classifications for entire nationalities of people and I dare not question it. Sure, I’d love to be able to stand up against society and yell ‘Hey, Society!” then scrunch up my face and make a pouty noise indicating my disapproval, but let’s face it, I’m just one man. Not only am I just one man, but I’m a Jewish man, and as a Jew I don’t have a very good track record when it comes to conflict. In fact I believe the only recorded instance of a Jewish person winning any type of confrontation was during the 2000 Vice Presidential Debates when Joe Lieberman and Dick Cheney debated over which “Back to the Future” was the best (Lieberman: The second one, and fuck all of you).
The point I’m trying to make is that not only is Racism real, but it’s also hilarious. Now before you go pre-judging me as a racist and shoving me into ovens, let me just make one more incredibly ignorant observation. With sympathy for minorities running so rampant nowadays, it’s become increasingly difficult for me to be white. That’s right, I’m a middle class white man, and I’m complaining about intolerance! The fact of the matter is that the “white devil” was responsible for a lot of terrible terrible things. Granted, I wasn’t one of those people and I’m genuinely not a racist; but darkie don’t care. I’m not filled with hate, I don’t have a white hood in my closet, and my igniting crosses has nothing to do with racial intolerance, I just hate crosses.
Being Black, or Chinese, or Filipino, or Mexican nowadays paints a picture of your cultural heritage. It associates you with a group; with a history. When somebody looks at any ‘minority’ they see a lineage of ancestors travelled here from the great rocks of wherever, overcoming great hardships, and making a name for themselves and their families. When people look at me, they just see a white guy. I’m a blank canvas. Frankly, I don’t think I should have to live with this shame. I shouldn’t feel guilty when I get a black waiter or when I stone a Muslim.
Looking at the progression of racial attitudes over the past few centuries it’s truly unbelievable; we’ve come so far, changed so much, and built a whole new world. Just imagine how much more we could’ve done with slaves. The progress truly is astounding though. African Americans are no longer required to sit in the back of the bus (although they’re always welcome), my family now let’s our housekeeper sleep inside the house, and I continue to hold out hope that one day I’ll see a white guy on BET.
Happy Black History Month, everybody.
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