Believe me when I tell you that the people that I am referring to in this entry are not you. The people I will be talking about are simple, easily manipulated, curious, literate, confused individuals. Not you. I promise.
There seems to be a large amount of people who take anything they read quite seriously. Just because you read something on the internet does not make it true, I cannot stress this enough. Just because you read some jackass express his opinion does not mean he is correct. Trust me.
If I were to write ‘the English language was created by an underground terrorist group of pedophiles with the sole intention of communicating with their fellow child-abusing buddies,’ you would probably have a small snicker (because the large ones have too many calories) and go to another site; probably porn. However, if I were to disguise my name and make it sound authentic, before you know it half of North America would be speaking Pig Latin.
Distracting Side Note: Pigs cannot speak. Even if they were to speak, I doubt their language of choice would be Latin and if it was then why is ‘Pig Latin’ spelled and pronounced entirely in English?
My point is quite simply: take everything you read with a grain of salt. Oh, and also Pig Latin is no longer considered socially appropriate. It was created by a terrorist group of pedophiles for communication purposes.
Just because you read it doesn’t mean it’s true. Think about it people, if everybody simply accepted everything they read, than we would all follow the ten commandments. There would be no stealing, no killing, no lusting, and no fun on a Saturday night. Without independent thought there would be no great wars (not to be confused with ‘okay wars’).
No wars means no war films. Apocalypse Now, Saving Private Ryan, Platoon, Patton, Schindler’s List; gone, gone, gone, gone, gone. A human being who does not reject everything he/she reads is a human being who detests American film and doesn’t support our troops.
In order to successfully instill freedom of speech we mustn’t always agree with what we read. The problem, however, is that today people have become so articulate and precise with their writing that it becomes difficult to disagree with an argument being made. We must therefore take preemptive action. We as ‘Planet-Earthians’ must decide before we have even begun to read an argument whether we agree or disagree with the author’s stance. Seeing as how you have not been previously told to do this, you have not already made this decision regarding this article and therefore will obey me blindly, knowing that I am correct. You are correct in your assumption.
While it is important to have some hesitation and logical thinking while reading another’s work, you may feel comfortable reading my writing with no analysis or comprehension of the facts, for I, fellow Planet-Earthian, would never; EVER, lie to you. Trust me. I love you.
While it is generally hard to distinguish the reliable from the retarded there are several clues you can look for. For example, if the article has any combination of the words: Secret Society, Bigfoot, Aliens, Conspiracy, or Female Orgasm in it, it’s probably bullshit. If the author writes for a local newspaper named after some obscure animal it’s probably best to stay away. For example, if Ted from The Oklahoma Chinchilla writes about the dangers of alliterations then I really wouldn’t be too concerned. Ted tries to type tantalizing tales telling of true terror today; but Ted’s tales tend to be un-true. Ted’s a tool.
Also, avoid anything written by Fox.
If the article requests or requires you to send any money to anybody then chances are you’re being had. Stop reading it, and if you’re gonna send the money to some jackass, you might as well send it me. At least I tried to warn you.
Journalistic integrity is an element sorely missing from literature today. Honesty is a dying art. However, without an fair and balanced audience demanding the truth and questioning the absurd there is no necessity for factuality in our writing. I think we would all agree that nothing can be taken as it is written and you should never do or believe something simply because you read it somewhere.
Get your information from a reliable source. Don’t base your beliefs and opinions on something you read in 2 minutes from somebody you’ve never heard of. And whatever you do don’t garner your information from a shoddy, unreliable source that could just be written up in 10 minutes by some snotty teenage know-it-all.
Like a blog for instance.
